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About
Ahmad Muslim aka Big G
The sad joker

Wants
To be fucking rich!!!!
To have someone special

Likes
Cartoons
Good Music, duhh

Hates
Liars,bitches, racists assholes
My other self

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[Wednesday, November 4, 2009]

6:09 AM

Hi guys, sorry for the late posting. Been very very bz lately.School was great. Haha. My china friend smuggled in a WHOLE carton of cigarettes without getting caught. COOL. Adn he gave me one pack. On the house. It was great. Marlboro red.After that, this whole chain starts up. Recently i juz bought 'Next chill' which i shared with my friend. Haiyoo. I've dissapoint a lot of people juz by smoking. And i'm slowly finding it hard to contain my need for nicotine. I hope i really don't get that addicted. God help me....Ehem, i juz bought a new pack today also. :(

Ya know its funny how we humans act and really portray purselves when it comes to love. I've been observing, studying and coming up with theories. Love is a delicate feeling. Everyone will experience it. But most of us are shy to say it out. Take me for an example. I am outgoing. Some call me perasan. I don't mind. I like to boast that i am handsome, macho and a great guy. However, when i'm alone and i look at myself in the mirror, i see a loser. Staring at me blankly. Telling me to stop lying about who i am. I have felt love before. But that other person always tells me," That girl is too good for you. And you're not fit for her." That really really pulls me down. Like now. I like this girl in my course. But i always assume that she has a boyfriend ( i really think she do). I feel jealous. I see all my friends having a partner and i'm stuck up as a single. Low self-esteem?? UNLIKELY. Hmmm. Maybe its not my time yet. Or maybe i'm just too naive. Only God knows.........

So as a parting gift here's a poem that i made on the spot, :-) :


Alone
Trapped in a world so cold
Shivering, waiting for my only one
Who would come as a shining light
As a warmth that i have been dreaming of

But alas
It was only a dream
A dream that only lasts
In impossible dreams

P.S I'm sorry if its bad. I'm still new ok.

OK ladies, Big G is going off now. Play THE SIMS 3!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Bye

_Bleeding heart sheds no tear' ;